Divine Dreamer

Chapter 2 - Long Day

Long story short I spent the night practicing magic powers. Mostly just making stuff. So the easiest thing for me to do is create raw energy. Light, heat, motion all super easy don't even feel it, also illusions! The next tier up from there would be altering my own body. Takes a tiny smidge of effort but I could TF myself into anything super easy even big shapes. Yes I could turn into a dragon and it was awesome! Though I went back to small shy fox girl creature. Next step up was altering matter. I could expand shape and transmute already existing objects that weren't me. It took a noticable chunk of power relative to how big of a change it was. Small alterations like removing the nicks and scratches on an object basically nothing, turning a pebble into a boulder? Big cost. Lastly was creating something from nothing. That had the biggest cost to my magical power. So uh filling the fountain with hot steamy bath water took about as much effort as creating the bedroom. Keeping it warm took basically no effort. Everything scaled with the size of the effect, and uh scaling a rock up was easier than creating a new basically identical one.

Destruction cost slightly the same as creation. I could lower the temperature/make things dark much easier than the inverse. Undoing transformations seemed to be easier than doing them. Shrinking an enlarged rock was easier than shrinking a normally large rock. Destroying matter was slightly easier than creating and much easier if I created it.

That of course lead me down the rabbit hole of wanting to see magic. Clearly magic had to be some kind of energy. Probably. Every video game led me to believe that magic worked off of mana. Thus I wanted to see that. A task that was very difficult to achieve but kinda easy. My initial attempt was to just look closely at my magic tricks but then I realized, wait could I simply will myself the ability to see magic? Yes I could.

Also looking at an eldritch energy source made my brain do funny things but it mostly made sense. Also things I created were suffused with magic and that explained how undoing was easier because it was already magic laced. The air kinda had a thick fog of it too, and my physical form kinda radiated magic?! Wild. Zaria didn't do that. I checked.

Thus I swam around in the big toasty bath like a fox paddling with all fours. My body not getting wrinkly from bathing for too long. It was the coziest experience ever, and I got to be nude while a cute girl! Really it felt like heaven and if I was a goddess and this was my house, then technically it was basically heaven. Religion got kinda funky when I was technically divine, but I supposed that I got to make up rules. First rule was that rules were dumb and I wasn't allowed to get anxious over rules.

And then my alarm clock went off and woke me up, except I was already awake. But suddenly I heard through my other body and ugh, I wanted to stay in the bath and not exist on earth where everything was dumb and awful and I had to figure out how to be a people.

Still the alarm was super annoying so I had to focus on my weak awful ugly body and turn the alarm off. My flesh felt terrible. I ended up sleeping on my side because of my tail and that meant my neck and spine hurt. Boo. I was too young for back pain!

Distantly I remained aware of the still sleeping Zaria in the bed, in my temple but my focus squarely landed on earth. I sat up. I groaned. I grabbed my clothes and walked to the shower. No one else was up, not my dad, not my step mom. Just me wandering over to the shower like I did every morning. I felt tired. Which I hadn't before waking up.

Setting my clothes on the vanity after locking the door I looked in the mirror… and it hurt. I'd always been so detached I never really processed the reflection as me, but now somewhat lucid, I knew that was my reflection but it wasn't me. That dysphoric uncanny valley sunk in making me want to rip apart my flesh with a level of passion that felt alien.

Oh and then I remembered my tail. My tail that I grew… last night… before bed.

It was all real. It was really real and I could touch it, and maybe I was insane but I had an actual big floofy fox tail at the end of my spine and aaaaa?!?! I couldn't hide this?! People would ask questions. I couldn't sit in chairs anymore. I'd doomed myself!

And yet I couldn't for the life of me want to get rid of it. If anything I wanted to change the rest of my body more.

If anything the more I looked around me I saw the faint traces of magic radiating off of my body into an environment utterly devoid of magic. Oh… Oh I might've just started problems. Suddenly I was struck with existential terror about being now a part of a secret magical society on earth, or worse, I was the only one with magic on earth but I'd slowly turn the world magical and cause even more problems.

Anyway back to changing my body I looked myself in the mirror and pictured the body I'd been enjoying ten minutes ago and tried to will my body to become that. I braced myself for the pain. Stars, the pain was bad before but it was better than existing like this. Sure it would only cause more problems but I'd rather physically be a girl than not cause problems.

And thus my bones began to ache, my organs contracted my skull felt like it was imploding. My whole body began to scrunch inward becoming smaller and it was fighting physics to do it. The universe resisted my attempts to bend it to my will but I kept pushing with all my divine might to shape this dumb flesh on this dumb world into something comfortable.

Unfortunately as my flesh morphed it hit my brain in a weird spot and I blacked out…

Except I was still sort of conscious in the temple. My mind muddled as half of my existence was unconscious part way through the transformation. Turned out my skull was smaller here, and thus it was morphing there, to match and biology kept saying, human bodies can't survive in this state, and I kept giving biology the middle finger. Either way I kept pushing to finish the change because uh, otherwise my flesh body might die and that might hurt or kill me in the temple, and I was finally happy and alive and dying now would be the most cruel twist of fate I could imagine.

My body in the temple fully dissipated as my focus went sole-y into forcing the transformation on my flesh to continue so my mind didn't collapse into oblivion. I bled from places I wasn't supposed to bleed from. A lot. I bled out a lot of excess matter because my magic found that easier than deleting it.

Then with a sudden gasp for air, I choked on my own blood. Coughing it up.

A fist pounded on the door. "What's going on in there, are you okay?"

My power was straining, but I paused just long enough to try and once more will him to go back to bed until he gave me a ride to school. Magic burst through the air, through the door like it wasn't really there and towards my dad. I didn't know where altering minds came in on the effort list but this felt easier than creating that boulder.

Foot falls walked away and left me as he went back to bed. Success!

Only I was still choking on blood and I then tried to move the excess out and continue going. More effort, more magic expended, at this rate I'd be powerless. Yet I couldn't stop half way.

Ten more minutes of morning prep time gone and I finally finished. Bathed in blood in a mess of a bathroom I laid on the ground nude curling up hugging myself. Breathes heavy but finally I could lapse my concentration and just exist, exhausted.

Today was gonna be a long day.

Still I could only survive the sensation of being covered in my own blood for so long before I needed to get it off me or start having a meltdown. So I tapped into the remainder of my magic and moved it off of me.

Standing up I looked around at the mess that'd probably get me in more trouble than anythign I'd ever done before… if my dad even regonized me. If my step mom regonized me. Would anyone? I uh…

My eyes moved to the mirror. To the vanity. My nude body not resembling my old one even a little. Yea uh I did not think this through and even if I wanted to turn back I literally would probably die in the attempt. Still I couldn't help but smile. A twisted maybe-a-little-bit-in-shock smile that I was a cute girl in the mirror and nothing could take this away from me.

Oh and the blood soaked floor mat squished in a very bad sensory experience under my feet. Right, the blood, gawk at cute self later, blood first. Uh, deleting it might be a bit beyond me. I could definitely move it. but the only place to move all the blood would be the toilet…

Okay so I flushed my own remains down the toilet. Flush after flush, magically straining myself until standing up felt difficult I put all the blood and viscera into the toilet and flushed it away. One clean bath room and one dizzy goddess remained.

Yea I needed to sit down. So I grabbed my clothes, and walked out naked into the house with two other sleeping individuals and made my way to the basement where my computer was. Right in the dark corner I left it sat the place where I spent all my time. My big fancy computer that I built five years ago with mid-tier parts. I slumped awkwardly into my chair, my tail getting in the way so I basically had to sit in the most uncomfortable position possible. My claws typed away logging in… right I uh gave my self claws. Neat. I kinda wanted to tear up the furniture like a cat. Felt like a good stim.

Checked reddit, checked tumblr, checked discord. Nothing big and news breaking today beyond the fact I did a literal magic and that was something the entire planet would be in an uproar about if they knew, because magic wasn't real… until last night?! Potentially only I had it, or there were others, and if there were others uh, were they all gods from another dimension? How had no one caught them yet?

The trans subreddit and discord both had folks talking about their transitions and it suddenly clicked as my head got a little less light headed that I just got a magical transition… and if I were a more powerful goddess I might be able to do it for others.

That train of thought crashed into "I have school today, and I look like a completely new person and none of my clothes fit." Which uh, I had about seven minutes left before dad woke up and took me to college. Only had two classes one early morning and one late afternoon and because I couldn't drive it meant staying the whole day at school and uh…

If I had more magic left in me I'd probably run away to live in a forest as some weird fox creature.

And then a solution came in the form of Zaria waking up. Right, I needed magic to solve my problems and her praying helped!

Only I felt too tired to reform my body, but I could dissociate away from my other one and focus on my temple. So I spoke to the waking scholar. "Uhm, morning, uh I could use your help a lot actually uhm sorry but it's kind of urgent and I wouldn't ask if I didn't—"

"Shhh, its okay, I am willing to help." She stated before yawning and getting out of bed. "What do you need me to do?"

"Pray? I uh, I used up all of my power doing something really dumb and now I'm stuck and everything is about to go wrong and I might die and—"

Zaria didn't wait, she stretched, knelt down touching her forehead to the ground and began to pray in her mind and in her words. Reciting my name. Offering me thanks and praise. Every utterance of devotion and thanks replenishing a bit of the sea of power I'd drained much faster than it did naturally. She did so for minutes and minutes until I realized I heard footsteps from upstairs.

Uh, uh, uh, I couldn't transform back but I needed to look like I used to, and energy was easy, and disguise self was a first level spell and totally relevant to how my magic powers worked and I just needed to make an illusion, hide the extra bits, look like the old bits. Compared to moving blood and altering my body it actually turned out to be a reasonably doable thing without significant magic usage. I remembered that terrible face I had and then pulled out my driver's licence and the other like 3 photos that existed and ran to the downstairs mirror to make sure I looked exactly how I had. Five inches taller, male, gross, boring.

Oh and I added my usual black baggy hoodie and cargo pants to the illusion, and then uh scampered upstairs, climbing with my claws. An act that moved my new chest around a bunch and kinda definitely hurt and oh stars I needed a bra! I couldn't afford a bra!

Rushing past my dad in the kitchen as I went to go put on actual clothes. Sure none of it fit right, but uh, I could just wear my hoodie and some boxers. My hoodie and shirts were large on old me, and now I was 5 inches shorter and they were basically dresses.

I put on uh socks which my claws poked through, and my shirt and my hoodie, and uh I couldn't see it all under my illusion which looked fine. But it covered me in the event of accidental unillusioning.

Also Zaria then ended her like ten minutes of prayer. "I hope that helped."

Turns out manifesting my voice in my temple was easier than speaking out loud, and I said, "Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you."

"You're welcome. Now would you happen to have—"

"[deadname] its time to go." My dad hollared from the end of the hall.

I rushed out and slipped my shoes on which was uh… okay so those wouldn't work at all anymore. So I illusioned shoes on and then realized socks wouldn't work either and took those off and left them under my desk while I grabbed my backpack which was so heavy oh my stars! I was weak. I'd actually made myself a lot weaker and aaaaaaaa!!!!

Still I carried it while still exhausted from the morning as I sat awkwardly in the car seat because my tail did not agree with chairs. Buckled my seat belt across my boobs, which for a moment clipped with my illusion so I had to illusion that in the heartbeat before dad noticed. So much power expended and it took a toll on my mortal body and I was so weak and this was the start of my day.

Once I felt nice and safe and secure in not outing myself I turned and looked out the window as dad drove me to college. My mind reflexively daydream as I did only it wasn't a day dream, I was looking back into my temple in the other world.

… Except that Zaria had pinged me with my name and I'd ignored her and she ended up taking a bath in the bathing pool that was still warm enough despite having cooled down for ten minutes. A bath in which she was naked and I was being a creep by watching her and aaaaa!

"I'm sorry but I uh, I can't not see everything in the temple all at once, sorry." my disembodied voice squeaked. Thankfully I was really good at dissociating and my body was not reacting to any of this.

She just put on a knowing little smile. "We're both women, dear. Please don't apologize for something you can't avoid. However, I am curious what you needed my prayers for, surely this bath isn't the limits of your power."

"It's complicated? I uh, I have a mortal body really far away in a palce with no magic and it takes a lot of magic to do thing here and I was uh, I needed to heal myself because my body… wasn't right and uh it almost killed me because the universe here is very… resistant to all forms of magic. I uh, might die if something happens to my mortal body. I don't know, and I don't want to find out."

Ducking her head back in the water, she wetted her hair. "That… That explains a lot. You do act very much like a mortal. I suppose you still have to deal with your father?"

"He's right next to me."

Zaria's expression turned cold. "He didn't hurt you—"

"He's never hurt me! J-just yells and uhm, its fine. He's being nice today. He's normally nice, and he's a lot better since uh… the thing happened." This was bleeding into TMI territory and I was terrible at keeping secrets but I couldn't explain why I was hospitalized. Too personal. The most personal unsharable fact in the universe.

After a moment of grimacing she sat back. "Well I hope you're free of him soon."

"Not unless I can magically create money and move out… wait…" Now that I thought about it I could do that. "I could probably do that, maybe. Not now, but uh when I recover."

"It would be for the best, in my humble mortal opinion." She thought pensively leaning against the edge of the bath, seated comfortably in the water. "I take it the first name you gave was your mortal name?"

"Kind of…" I twiddled ephemeral thumbs. Grounding myself in the temple to make sure I didn't move or talk while in the car. My body formed on the edge of the bath, still in my black dress. "I uhm, the name my parents gave me was no good, so I uh came up with Melanie because it sounded right but I've been to scared to tell anyone." My legs kicked in the water splashing the massive pool as I heated it up to a more comfortable temperature letting it begin to get a lil steamy again.

"Not even friends?" Upon seeing me appear, my guest swam over and sat next to where I stared into my lap at the edge of the bath.

A snort escaped both of my bodies and I made an excuse that I sneezed to my dad before refocusing on Zaria. "I don't have friends. I've got some acquaintances, but not like… a friend. I'm a failure of an adult, living at home with no friends, I can't even remember to feed myself, I haven't eaten in a day and a half, I'm not fit to exist." I pulled my legs up out of the water and hugged them as my tail wrapped around me.

"I assume living with your family is in your culture, not okay?" Zaria received a nod. "That sounds ridiculous. And some individuals are bad at taking care of themselves that's what family is for. At least it's supposed to be. You are fit to exist and please eat something. It would be very sad for the world to lose a goddess as kind as you."

Then clapping her hands together in prayer. "Melithera, please watch over my newest friend Melanie and ensure that her mortal body is fed." Her prayer giving me a smidge of extra power and a sincere desire for me to fulfill. Lowering her hands she simply continued. "I take it that this temple is a reflection of the state of your physical body? If you're struggling to maintain your power it might be because your two domains are in states of desecration and disrepair."

"W-Well I fixed up my body today, so uhm it's actually a lot better now… and I did make the fancy bedroom for you." Though neither of those things should matter. I was a goddess, why would the state of my temple and body impact my magical might… wait no that made perfect sense! A domain is a god's most important trait in a polytheistic religion they embodied concepts and such.

"I'm very proud of you for doing those things, and perhaps we can do more and see if that makes you less likely to nearly die from a small change to your mortal coil." With that she climbed out of the bath, patted my head with her wet hand and then asked, "May I have a towel?"

I was still being very conservative with my powers at the moment, so instead of creating one from nothing, I tore off a piece of my dress and expanded and warped it into a cloth that could serve as a towel. My face blushing as I tried to avoid looking at the nude scholar.

"My thanks to my goddess." Even without invoking my name it was still a small prayer for me. "And to gift a mortal a piece of your own clothing. This would be a holy artifact in other faiths." The lip curl into a mildly smug smile got my tail wiggling.

I felt the deceleration as we pulled onto campus and it pulled my attention out of my head. "Uhm, I have to do mortal things, so uhm I might be distracted all day."

"I will try not to distract you." And the middle aged woman began drying herself off as I forced myself to pay attention to the car pulling up to where I normally got dropped off, and double checked my illusions to make sure nothing was giving me away.

Dad pulled to a stop and handed me money for lunch like normal. "Have a good day, [deadname]."

I mumbled, "Thanks." back, and got out and headed towards class. German 102, because I needed the language credits and German happened to be close enough to English that it was easy and I could get a good grade, because I needed to get good grades or I might lose all the grants, and then I couldn't afford to go to college anymore, and then I couldn't get a good job and move out even though I was graduating after my extra next semester and I hadn't even started looking for a job.

The mid spring air felt nice and cool, partly cloudy with big puffy clouds that threatened rain but hadn't delivered. My bare feet and claws walking on concrete pathways, as I made my way over and found my secret little corner in Landerman's Hall. A small spot with few other folks around especially this early in the morning.

I pulled out my homework with a half hour before class and started working on it like I should have done last night before bed but I was too busy getting lost on the internet. Of course as soon as I looked at the page my brain magically understood the words, and uh… Right! I had goddess powers now! I could just… magically understand foreign languages… and uh… I hadn't really tested that. So I wrote out a short sentence in German, double checking it was German, and then thought to Zaria. "Can you understand this?"

"Yes, something the matter?" In the midst of taking notes and looking over the destroyed remains of the mosaic she looked up to the air.

"Oh I just… I had a class on a foreign language and uh my goddess powers let me understand any language written and spoken, and also apparently you can understand me regardless of which language I use… which is very cool and also what if someone notices?!"

"Class? Are you a scholar as well? And that is interesting to learn how divinity interacts with language, though after you corrected me on phonetic spelling in my own language I simply assumed."

"Y-Yea I go to college, and uh I'm closeish to graduating, its actually almost the end of the school year and I have to take the exams and this is gonna make one of my classes a lot easier!"

"I'm happy for you, and I'll let you get back to your studies."

My eyes blinked a bit as I zoned back in to sitting in an empty sitting area on campus. Double checked my illusion again, and everything looked fine. Then excited with my new powers I blitzed through the homework, where most of the actual effort was in making sure I wrote in the correct language because uh, omniglot is weird. While magic made my speech understandable, my writing wasn't laced with magic and definitely stuck to whatever language I was focusing on. But I think I needed to know the language enough to attempt it because I tried one I knew nothing but the name of(Arabic) and came up blank unlike German where I found my skills to be significantly improved to basically full fluency. Magic was the best.

Class came and went. I zoned out to peak at Zaria looking through the rubble of the temple piecing things together writing things in her notebook. Also her prayer request still hung out in my mind. I could ignore it but I did need to eat. Sure my body cannibalized itself in transforming but uh, it didn't fix all my lack of eating issues. I was still sorta a teeny bit dizzy and a lot tired.

Dragging myself to the cafeteria in the student union, thankfully almost no one was eating lunch at 10am. Except me! I got in line and got chicken tendies because I did have the money from yesterday saved up to get something I was actually willing to eat. I took my food and found a nice quiet space where no one else was around and then ate.

"Prayer answered!" I chirped excitedly as I dismissed the little request from my mind. I said it in the temple where I didn't need to physically speak.

Zaria giggled. "You ate?"

"Mhm."

"Good." Her smile rested for a moment before she sighed. "I think this place lacks proper air circulation, and fresh water. I've noticed it's getting harder to breathe… would it help if I prayed?"

"I've recovered a bit, but it would help!" Somehow her asking for things made it easier to do them. Like little quests to tick off in my brain and complete for mini bits of dopamine. Also it gave me magic to do it too!

With her offering up a prayer I set about fixing those two problems. With the illusion I actually realized that I could create basically permanent effects. It drained my power but it was low cost enough that I could handle it, barely. Earth really hated magic but the more I hung out in one place the more magic leaked out of me and it made it a smidge easier. Anyway the point was to create a permanent effect in the temple where power costs were lower. Just a simple transmutation of co2 back into o2. Not that complex, just needed to get it to not overdo it, and not under do it.

So instead of doing anything for my next class that wasn't for another seven hours, I just tinkered with that. And it only took a half hour to get a good balance on fresh air circulation. But it was draining. Transmutation was in the higher cost tier, and uh, gosh it'd be easier if there was just plants in the temple. But then it'd need sunlight but sunlight was easier than air circulation. Also I needed water. Which technically the bath was water but it was water we bathed in.

… wait cleaning that up probably wouldn't take that much effort.

"Alright, uhm, I got the air to circulate and stuff but it’s a little taxing and I think I'll need to work out an easier method later, and I cleaned up the bath so its drinkable."

"Thank you Melithera." Walking over to the fountain she refilled her canteen.

I sort of wiggled in my secluded spot. Helping felt good and I liked making others happy, and maybe being a goddess could be fun and not a terrifying amount of responsibility. Like I only had to take care of myself and one other individual… and somehow taking care of Zaria was the easy part. Taking care of myself well…

Hugging my backpack close I zoned out, and into my temple forming my body there. The place was run down and maybe, just maybe the state of utter decay the one place I could divinely exist in might be impacting my powers. My powers which I needed more of, not less. So I went about trying to fix it up. Not too much, I needed to preserve my power for my illusion, and also it physically exhausted my body and it still wasn't fully recovered. So I worked on cleaning up the dust, which turned out to be trivial and fixing a few smaller cracks in the ceiling and pillars. Little touch ups as I wandered around tail wagging.

Despite knowing the whole place very well I never paid attention to the uh, imperfections. I'd kind of ignored how terribly off this place was, and judging by the state of the roof this place was probably close to collapse. If my body dying might kill me, then my temple dying might do the same… fuck. Didn't gods usually have multiple temples?! Gah! This divinity stuff was complicated and I wanted a manual. This was like social interaction I wanted the manual that everyone else apparently got and I missed out on and had to figure out everything from scratch.

The roof situation weighed heavily on my mind as I appeared next to Zaria, floating in midair. "W-What's it like… outside the temple?"

She finished jotting some notes down as she was trying to piece together the symbology of the mosaic. "The immediate area outside is a massive underground cavern system. One of the largest known. It has fragments of an ancient city inside and a great many monsters. Above that are the Dragonrise Mountains that split the land in two. I journeyed from my home city of Zallis to come here and collect information on the world that once was."

"The world that once was?" That sounded… cryptic.

"The void descended from the stars and threatened to consume all." She closed her journal and eyes and took a deep breath as she recounted her knowledge. "The gods of old used all their might and that of the people to fight back against the end. In an attempt to spare the rest of the world form the spreading chaos of the void, the gods pulled in the land causing it to pile up, crush the void creatures devouring the world and created the Dragonrises to hold up the sky with their mighty peaks so that it might never descended upon us again."

And with that she opened her eyes again and stared at the mosaic, the glimmers of gold like starlight. "So much was lost, and the rest buried here beneath the mountains." Zaria then reached out and patted my head. "Even a kind little goddess."

"Aaaaa!" My cheeks warmed in both of my forms. It took me a moment to remember what I was supposed to say when someone complimented me. "Uhm, thank you."

"You're welcome, though didn't you have studies to focus on?"

My mood plummeted. Right that… I mean yea, I should be studying but that'd require figuring out what studying even actually is. Folks always treated it as sitting down and reading but I already knew the stuff, the guy said it in the last lecture and I did the homework. Besides tests weren't about knowing things, you just had to be good at tests, and I was kinda good, and yes this was a whole deflection on actually just sitting down and rereading things but rereading is hard. It requires focus and I sucked at focus. One moment I'm doing or thinking one thing and then the next heart beat I was doing something else. Usually in the temple because my body had always been an unmoving dissociated husk, but still.

Rather than answer her I simply vanished. Talking about needing to study and that I should be doing it when my mind kept doing literally anything else, was… I was lazy. I knew I was lazy and worthless. And sure it might be that federally recognized disability, but I was probably just worthless.

The problem was I escaped things by disassociating, and Zaria was in my dissociative magic otherworldly temple which might not actually be dissociation at all but yea. The only way to escape talking to her was to associate. Thus I went back to my weak tired, but less dizzy physical form and stood up.

I knew I should be studying. Zaria was right, but the moment I tried to focus on doing that I was walking through campus. My legs taking me literally anywhere else. My mind jumping to thoughts randomly as I looked around, trying to avoid getting to close lest others find out about the illusion, and my tail and also to make sure they didn't step on my bare feet.

I wandered and wandered and noticed a rainbow colored flyer on the wall of the student union. LGBT club, meets Thursday nights at 6pm. Wait, tonight was Thursday! But like I-I couldn't go to the club I mean sure I was trans but there'd be people and that's scary. But also… I needed to be studying and my class wasn't until 8pm because all the high level programming classes were super late.

Instead of deciding I wandered around campus as fast as my small weak body carrying a heavy backpack could… wait I could just get on the internet and browse stuff. Yea I was gonna do that instead. So I browesd the web and time vanished until I looked up and found that it was 5:53pm, and oh. Uh, well I could maybe go… Should I go? Probably, I mean I had magically transitioned, what if I could help someone else? Later, obviously any more magic today might have my flesh passing out leaving me trapped with Zaria who wanted me to study and thus I was avoiding her because I tried and now I was halfway across campus and looking at reddit.

So I packed up my bag and scampered across the late Thursday campus the week before finals. Thankfully my degree didn't require writing papers, because most folks had like thesis and stuff. I could never write. Writing hard.

And thus I ended up standing outside of the LGBT-GSA club room thingy. Well not right outside but near. I was thinking about it, but every attempt to convince myself led to me being more anxious.

"Oh hey were you here for the club?"