Divine Dreamer

Chapter 1 - The Visitor

Life always felt like a dream. Work, school, the news, everything somehow felt a touch unreal, out of focus. It had for a long time. I drifted through life in a body that felt wrong, in a life that felt wrong, in a world that was not made for me. I stuck to a routine and it kept me afloat in this nightmare called life as I constantly wished to wake up and be told that it was all just a bad dream. That I could get away from my family, from society and just exist without having to maintain my own body.

My stomach growled. Taking care of myself happened to be the greatest chore of all. One I was uniquely terrible at. Maybe that was the autism, or the adhd. My family called me lazy despite my being diagnosed with several disabilities. Probably because I was.

I thought about getting up… then I absentmindedly clicked on a link and got sucked back into the internet. Finals were coming up and I needed to do homework but nope! Brain wanted to browse content on the interwebs for little shots of dopamine. I was being lazy.

Hours passed by and the time showed it was bed time so I stood up and did my small bed ritual and laid down to sleep. Obviously the falling apart would take a while so I daydreamed about the same thing I always dreamed about. It was a weird daydream. A large dusty temple decorated in strange runes. A broken relief once beautiful now tarnished. Ratty cloths where magnificent tapestries once hung.

The forgotten temple pitch black and yet I could see just fine as my feet touched the cold stones but felt no discomfort. The daydream as vibrant as the waking world. Perhaps more. Of course I was still in my bed, if I tried to focus on my body I could perceive it, but why would I want to exist in it. It was so ugly and gross in a way I learned was called dysphoria. Knowledge that only made it feel worse.

So instead I immersed myself in my real body, my true body walking through the ancient temple. I was small and short, my pitch black hair hanging down my back. My face smooth and free of hair, a tail wiggling back and forth over my butt. A flowing black dress draped over my modest curves. The fangs in my mouth eager to chomp into something with good texture. My claws that scrapped against an old stone pillar as I passed by.

After having spent most of my life cooped up in this cozy forgotten temple, I'd had a lot of time to imagine what it was about. What each little detail meant. That it was to some eldritch horror, or some benevolent goddess, or perhaps a whole pantheon. Maybe I'd been a priestess who seved the great being, or an angel, or in my most ambitious imaginings, the benevolent goddess herself.

Pondering what story I wanted to make up tonight before sleepy took me and I decided that tonight I'd pretend to be an angel. That'd be fun. I focused on my dream body and grew a pair of wings. Big black feathery wings. And summoned up a silver metallic halo to hover behind me inscribed with the same symbols I found on the walls. Oh and I kept the tail because it was fun to have. It just wiggled and wagged and it was the ultimate stimming limb. Every autistic and adhd girl should be allowed to have a tail.

Before I could sink into the role play, the door to the temple opened. The grand stone doors far in the distance to where my eyes couldn't see but I could perceive, moved. They'd never moved. I'd tried moving them myself but they never budged. It was one of the immutable qualities of the dream. Something like many things far outside of my control.

And as it cracked open enough, someone walked in. She wore robes carried a backpack and a lit torch. Blood leaked from several wounds, and a snarling resounded behind her through the crack.

Pivoting on her heal she muttered an incantation and bolts of light hurled beyond the limits of what I could perceive. Then she began attempting to force the door shut. Sliding the massive thing she shouldn't have been able to move back shut right as the snout of a creature collided with it a hair inside of my perception. The door shut imperfectly that small sliver of opening let me sense the thing scraping against its other side, snarling.

The bleeding woman collapsed to the ground hugging her wounds before beginning to strip.

I blushed. I blushed hard. I shouldn't have been able to see her but I could see everything here if I looked and I couldn't stop looking at the first individual to ever enter my dream space… wait was I still awake?!

Focusing on my flesh body it took a minute to reconnect with it, in my bed, on earth, a world with no magic beyond HRT. I was awake and still in bed and not even suffering from sleep paralysis. But even focusing back there I could feel someone in the temple.

… oh gosh I'd finally gone insane.

On the other hand maybe I could talk to my subconscious?

So I took a moment to reground myself in the daydream. Made sure my body looked nice and pretty and cute like I wanted. I kept the angel look because uh, it felt nice. And started walking over.

Except she'd taken off her torn robes and was applying bandages. The wounds looked bad. But also I could perceive everything and she was half undressed and I didn't want to be a creep, but in trying to not see anything I shouldn't I actually perceived through her clothes. Aaaaaa, imagination stop! I looked at porn once. Stop haunting me!

I covered my face with my hands but that did nothing. I could see her as clearly as my own back, and as clearly as the empty pool fountain thing on the other side of the temple.

The woman muttered something in a language that sounded familiar, yet distinctly one I didn't know, yet distinctly understandable. This daydream was gonna get me put in a mental ward again. She cursed this forgotten place and those blasted beasts and this entire expedition.

Then she cursed at a name. A name that shot a bolt through my chest. Like someone tugged on my soul. A name that resonated in my mind, Melithera. It wasn't my name. I knew it wasn't. I chose a different name Melanie. The name I'd be called if I just came out to everyone. A name I'd picked because the first part, Mel resonated with me so much. It felt like it was mine.

Something about this whole thing was deeply wrong. This couldn't be a dream. Maybe an elaborate psychotic break but dreams didn't feel like this. They didn't make me feel awake. Truly whole heartedly awake. As if mentioning that name had stirred me from the slumber that haunted me my whole life.

The woman in the time I'd frozen up on the far side of the temple, managed to bandage herself up and simply sat there with a journal open. The script gibberish and yet my brain made sense of it. She wrote in some of her observations, some thoughts.

As I stood in this vast temple, finally awake in the truest sense of the word. I felt like I needed to talk to her. She had to know what was happening. Subconscious or psychotic break or some weird other possibility I really didn't want to consider, I needed to talk.

Except for one massive problem. I felt awake, and now I felt anxious. Scared. Small. While my imagination was vibrant before, I now felt so utterly present it was like real life and I couldn't talk with people in real life. I barely was able to converse with the phantom people I imagined in the temple.

I'd wanted to learn sign language to help with my uh inability to speak, but well… I never needed to. Not at work, not at home, not at school. No one spoke to me so I rarely talked. I spoke maybe a few words a day. Sometimes uncomfortably forced, sometimes easy.

So even if I walked up to her, and she saw me and asked me something in her weird language my brain understood without understanding, I couldn't talk back and ask questions. Just because I could read her writing and understand her words didn't mean she'd understand mine either.

… but also she might refer to me as a girl? And honestly the part where I was a cute girl in a viscerally tangible way was uh, right the euphoria. Oh fuck the euphoria!

My hands wen to feel my body and it felt so right and real. It felt real. Real life didn't feel like this. Even the tail felt real. I didn't think I could ever go back to not having one. The wings, I could maybe part with, but I had a new limb and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

I began scampering around in a circle excitedly. My dress flowing as my feet and claws clacked against the stone floor echoing out. A small "Yip!" escaped my lips and I immediately noticed when She noticed.

Because the woman heard my echo a moment later and jumped up, snatching up her things while eyeing the pitch black depths of my temple. "Whatever spirits lurk here, I mean no harm. I've come as a scholar. To beasts, know I am not easy prey."

I stood frozen and still as did the air. The whole temple felt like it held its breath at the words of the woman.

She eyed the depths for a long moment, unable to rest. Then ventured forth torch blazing, footfalls kicking up dust. Her whole body tense and alert as her every action echoed out into my home. Her path following the main hall towards the grand mosaic. The halls built for a giant, like the mines of moria form lotr. Her body practically miniscule incomparison, yet still larger than me.

Well I could alter my form… I think. With some focus I tried. My wings and halo vanished and I once more became the weird sorta foxgirl, but without the ears. Feeling and seeing them vanish was strange. With how tangible everything was I literally just unexisted some of my limbs with a thought. I had power here… magic, just like the woman.

Soon enough the flames of her torch became visible to my eyes. Normal vision rather than the weird perceptive sense I had for the entire place. Of course I stood in the dark depths. I could see that I couldn’t' be seen with her torch light.

Still I ducked behind a pillar and peeked out watching her as the few golden pieces of the mosaic reflected back her torch light. The whole thing illuminating in a way I'd only ever imagined it could. I'd never actually seen it with light. My strange perception in the dark making everything matte and unreflective.

She then propped the torch up nearby and set down her bag once more checking the darkness for danger. Her eyes scanning over me but not seeing. Then the scholar pulled out a stick of chalk and began inscribing symbols that were not words into the floor.

The sound grated my ears and felt deeply uncomfortable. I wanted it to stop.

And thus the air around her stilled becoming silent and she freaked out when sound stopped existing around her.

Right, magic! Uh, oh no, I scared her again. Stars, I needed to not, but also her chalk hurt to listen to. Bad sensory inputs from the temple was new. It always felt distant enough that nothing I touched or said or did every felt wrong but now that it felt real that simply wasn't true anymore.

I kept it quiet, and she tried speaking into the field of silence looking around testing its boundaries. I simply extended it to the whole temple. No noise.

After a bit she sighed and put the chalk back and she said something to the air but nothing happened. She looked frustrated.

Since the chalk was gone I loosened my grip on the air and let it vibrate with noise again. An act that left me wondering what else I could do in here. I mean I always knew I could do a ton. I had done a ton. Fill up the bath, let the waters heat and steam up and just sort of lounge, and also summon up a phantasmal recreation of what I thought the place was supposed to be. Even phantoms of individuals that was mostly just talking to myself as I pretended to be multiple people. Sometimes very convincingly which I never really thought about.

"Spirits, Melithera, I apologize for my disturbance." Her hands clasped in prayer as she bowed to the mosaic. The mention of the name pulling me out of my adhd brain tangent.

"It's okay." I whispered, reflexively. The sound filling the temple as a hushed whisper that she clearly heard. I had meant to say it to her but I always spoke so quiet I hadn't expected her to hear. Also my voice sounded cute and adorable and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa gender euphoria!

Stunned for a moment the woman clearly had not been expecting to hear my voice. Any voice. But her face and body relaxed. Set at ease that I was a friendly… spirit? I didn't feel like a spirit, I felt very tangible. Either way she then asked, "Still I did not mean to upset. May we… converse?"

Pulling my big floofy tail around I hugged it like the plushies I'd stupidly thrown out years ago. I wanted to respond by the words caught in my throat. I wanted to just say, "Sure." Except that voice shyly resounded in the space, yet I didn't use my throat to speak that time… wait I could talk without speaking?! "Uhm, you can hear me?"

"I can. May I ask with who I'm communing?" She sat down upon the ground crossing her legs into a meditative stance and pulled out her journal to write.

"M-Melanie." It was my first time ever telling someone my chosen name. It felt nice on my lips unlike the one my family called me. But another name, that name also still sat heavy in my mind. It belonged to me even if I hadn't chosen it. So I added, "But I also go by Melithera."

Her whole body froze for a heartbeat… and the next she threw herself into a prostrated position before the mosaic. "Thank you for showing pity on this trespasser. I meant no disrespect." The rapid movement reopened some of her wounds.

Aaaaa she was bleeding again and ignoring her injuries to bow? To me??!!? I wanted to heal her and it took entirely too long to remember I could will things to happen here. The woman remaining prostrated even as her bandages turned red. So with my desire to heal her, I focused and just like everything else the universe in this dream realm obeyed causing her wounds to heal up.

"Thank you, Melithera. Praise be thy name." And with her words I felt the sincerity of her prayer to me. My face blushing as the happy brain chemicals made my mind go brrrrrr, and my tail wag like crazy.

"You're welcome." I squeaked. "Uhm, uhm," the words ringing out as my throat remained incapable of words. "Do you know who I am? It feels weird when we say that name."

While not getting up I still watched as her face turned to one of disbelieving shock. "I know… a little. I apologize I-I don't understand what you're asking."

"Well, you talk like you've heard of me by the weird name. And uh, I'd never heard anyone call me that until you said it, but it felt weird and drew my attention for some reason."

"If I may be forgiven for misunderstanding, but you are the goddess Melithera, yes?"

Goddess. She said Goddess. She thinks I'm a goddess. I literally healed her wounds with a thought and received her prayer oh stars I might be a goddess?! "I'M A GODDESS?!!?"

Like thunder the sound boomed from the entire temple at once and the moment it started to hurt my and her eardrums I forced it down into silence.

A moment later the door to my room swung open. Dad. He stood there pissed and I as I jumped up in fright at the sudden opening of my door I realized I'd yelled that out loud too. I curled up wishing he'd go away and not yell and berate me.

As his mouth opened to roar with anger he blinked and calmed and closed the door while walking away…

Relief filled me as he walked down the hall and sat in his chair to watch someone on the news tell him to hate poor people. And as my thoughts calmed down from the utter heartattack that practically gave me I realized… That'd never happened before. He'd never cut out mid-sentence and leave me alone no matter how many times I wished him to stop yelling and insulting and raging at me. He simply left… because I wanted him to.

I still sensed distantly the woman talking but it paled in comparison to being back here, in the real world in my actual ugly masculine body. I was torn out of my perfect form into this thing. The body I hated. My tail entirely absent despite its phantom presence. I wanted it back.

A moment later I felt something from the base of my spine. I was sitting up wearing boxers in bed and I felt something begin to grow, slowly, painfully. So much so I had to pull down my boxers and roll over so I wasn't crushing the growing limb… because it was growing. Oh stars it was growing.

The fresh fear kept me quiet. My body changing not in the rapid quick way as before but like it was trying to force itself to manifest and the universe was resisting. Though as much as the universe resisted I knew I could force change. I knew I was supposed to have a tail. It was mine. And my body was mine and this universe could fuck off trying to make me live as that for one more second.

I clutched a pillow and wanted to scream but not a whisper came out. I'd stay quiet. I'd be a good child and not anger dad again.

All the while the woman spoke and talked despite me being unable to hear her words beyond the occasional use of that name. Each one pulling my attention but the pain pulled me back to the real dream world I lived in my whole life that while still… dreamlike felt less so than before. As if I'd finally woken up.

And in waking up I grew a tail. A painful glorious, floofy tail.

As it finished growing in, and staining my sheets with my own blood that I willed away, that two took tremendous effort, I found my body and mind exhausted, and collapsed into slumber a moment later hugging the floof tight.

…

Of course when I dreamed I always found myself in the temple. Not normally lucid but tonight? Absolutely lucid. My body and brain asleep and yet here I was.

Oh and she said my name again, "Melithera?"

It took me a second to place my body, it'd… ceased to exist and I was reestablishing it within the temple, this time right before her. Because I wanted answers. "Hi, uhm, sorry about… that uh." my desire for answers couldn't overcome my natural anxiety and nervousness and shyness. My tail curled around me as I stood between her and the broken artwork. The dark fur hiding most of my body from sight.

"I take it, news of your divinity was a surprise?" The scholar herself had risen back into her sitting position. Notebook in hand but not written in.

I nodded. "Y-Yea." The whisper not from my mouth.

"A good one I hope." She smiled pleasantly. "I've never been in direct the presence of the divine before. I hope you can forgive my lack of propriety."

"Is okay…" I wiggled shifting from foot to foot, my dress fluttering slightly. "Uhm, thank you for coming here? It uh it helped."

"I'd say it helped me too." Blood soaked bandages still clung to her body. Either way she seemed more intent on talking to me. Her pen tapped the page. "So do you not remember back to before your temple ended up here?"

My head shook. No I only really started paying attention when I was uh… I guess I always had at least a little but I was only twenty-two and this place seemed ancient. In fact this was clearly not earth since she used magic, and thus uh, wow I had a temple on another world where I was a goddess, while on earth I was… that. Still my powers transferred between bodies though it never had before, and it was really powerful here and really weak there, though still useful! I'd definitely have to fix my body. Also I uh, did I mind control my dad? That wasn't ethical but I just wanted him to stop.

"Melithera?"

My name pulled me right back to the present. "S-Sorry! I zone out a lot…" I held my tail to where it blocked her from seeing my face.

"I noticed. However your reactions…" Small micro twitches in her face denoted a medley of emotions in her mind. She settled on a look of concern. "seem as one who is afraid. And there is no danger here. You are a goddess, nothing could truly endanger you within your domain, yes?"

"Maybe?" I knew she was probably right, obviously I healed her wounds with a thought, could see any and everything within this space and had magic powers. This was my domain, and I was safe here, I always had been but… "I-I'm just… I'm not used to being a goddess."

"Might I ask what you do have experience with?"

"Uhm… no."

"As you wish." She stated simply. Then she sighed and looked to the floor the half-finished chalk etchings upon the dusty stone. "Did my ritual upset you?"

Wiggling on my feet I stared at the symbols. "Yea, it was… a bad sound. Chalk sounds bad. Bad texture… What was it supposed to do?"

"Lighting. I wished to see this place but my torch was simply not enough."

Well I could fix that, I was pretty sure. So with a brief flickering of my will the entire place filled with soft ambient lighting. "Does that help?"

That smile of hers grew. The scholar stood up eyes glancing over the massive structure, taking in the full breath of my little home that kept me company my whole life. My secret retreat where no one could reach me. Where I felt safe. Her eyes finally landed upon me. "It very much does. Thank you Melithera, you continue to bless me with your kindness."

My face burned red and a squeak escaped my lips. "b-but I uhm, I just wanted to help…"

"Assistance is generally known to be a kindness, yes?" She stepped towards me and around to get a better view of the mosaic, but also ended up right next to me.

"Yea… but not when I do it… It took no effort, I shouldn't be thanked unless its something actually difficult." My body curled inwards a little. Making itself small as I figured out why I shouldn't be thanked.

"It would be difficult for me, and thus I am thankful. Though I get the impression you believe you are not worthy of thanks." The smile faded into a pensive look as she reached out and touched the great wall at the heart of the temple. Hand running over the once whole but now broken work.

Facing away from her I squeezed my tail tight. "I'm not though. I'm worthless." Dad said so, loud and clear until it hurt my ears and made me want to die. I sniffled, feeling tears well up in my eyes. I wasn't supposed to cry. I wasn't allowed. Showing emotion like that was bad. He said so.

"Mel—"

I vanished not wanting her to see me like this. I curled up in some distant corner of the place. My chest ached as I tightened my chest so my sobbing was silent. Wasn't safe to make noise. All the fear that got struck into me earlier before I slept bled in. I'd been bad and should have let him punish me.

All the while I kept feeling her call my name, watched her as she began walking through this place searching. "Melithera, you aren't worthless. You're very kind and sweet, more than a goddess has any right to be."

She was wrong, so wrong. But I couldn't tell her. I wanted to show her how awful I was as my mind ran back through every terrible thing that I'd done and been yelled at for. Phantasms manifested of memories all around her. Of dad yelling at me. Every memory buried until they burst forth at my lowest point.

"Is this?" The scholars fists clenched. "These are your memories." She wandered past the memories but they moved to keep up with her. Kept her trapped in them like I was. "If this is to convince me, then you have succeeded. You are sweet and kind and this despicable man should pay for making you believe otherwise."

No no no! That's not it! H-He loves me! He said so. The image of him being nice and saying he loved me appeared. Dad loved me, and I was bad.

Wandering past the bath her knuckles tightened. "Just because someone loves you does not mean they treat you well. Terrible things can be done in the name of love, and yet nothing I've seen so far looks like he spared an ounce of love in his misdeeds." Finally halting she drew in a deep breath and focused. "Melithera, may I hug you?"

I sniffled, my face covered in snot. I spoke without speaking. "You shouldn't have to."

"I want to. May I?"

"… If you want." I didn't want to be bad and say no.

"I do, but I can't seem to find you, could you come here?" As she glanced about the memories began to fade.

And a moment later I appeared before her. Wiping away my snot and tears before remembering I could simply wish them away. My small body nervously fidgeting. I stared at my clawed toes. My tail tucked between my legs.

And then warm arms wrapped around me and squeezed. Her body tight and firm clutching mine as renewed sobs filled the air. Her hand patted my back. "Shhh, it's alright. You're safe. So safe, and precious."

It took a bit for me to stop resisting the embrace to let myself have it. Once I did the tears poured out and I clung to her like a life-preserver amidst a storm. "I'm sorry." The words repeated over and over even as I couldn't breathe.

"And you've nothing to be sorry about." She assured me over and over every time I begged for forgiveness.

And finally I ran out of steam. I stopped crying and my body felt… fine. It felt as perfect as it had when I first formed it. Crying normally exhausted me, I'd need to catch my breath, but I didn't need to breathe in here. This body required no heart either.

Rather than pull away I simply appeared right outside of her grasp. My body exactly how I wanted it to be. And of course seeing the woman despite not looking at her I gave one last, "Sorry."

Her hand landed on my head and petted me. Her face smiling sadly. "Don't apologize. If you are thankful for the comfort, say thank you. Even if it was easy for me to comfort you."

"Thank you." The words quiet and timidly echoing through the temple. My tail wagging at the affection.

"You're very welcome, dear. Despite my lack of motherly desires, I've always the time to comfort a child in need." W-What?

Immediately I pulled back from the pettings. Still staring downwards I pouted. "I'm not a child." my form here looked young but not like a child. I was clearly an adult. Just a small adult. Who was a girl, and cute and had a tail and claws and fangs.

She pulled out her journal. Feather pen pressed to the page. "and how old would you say you are?" The section header already labeled with my name.

"U-Uh… twenty-two…"

"Centuries?"

"Years."

The pen scritched away writing twenty-two in her languages script… right she wasn't even the same language! We literally weren't speaking the same language and somehow were talking this whole time?! "How can you understand me? How can I understand you? We aren't even speaking the same language!"

Her pen froze. "I had noticed your speech was strange but you aren't speaking Keja?"

"I'm speaking English."

"Can you repeat that?" Repeating the word she scratched that down into her journal. Only the symbols she picked to spell it out phonically weren't exactly right. Looking at her writings I saw a word with a letter that align with the 'eng' sound a bit better.

Of course in my attempt to get English spelled right I uh, maybe accidently willed it to change to how I thought she should spell it. The word in her journal altering to form the word that when I looked at it definitely was the best translation into her script for the word. I just sort of knew it…

She flickered her eyes from the page to me. "Did you change this?"

"Uhm… sorry."

"No apologies, I assume this is the correct spelling?" She received a nod. "Then you've helped me, yet again. Thank you." With a few added words to her profile on me, she then closed the book. "As much as I'd love to continue inquiring into the things you've shown me, and if you let me I will later. I have the feeling that I will be spending the night in your home," The woman bowed. "and humbly ask for somewhere to stow my things and rest."

I blinked despite not actually needing to. Oh, Oh she needed a bedroom! I'd never thought about like needing to sleep down here because this was where I existed when I was sleeping! Wait could I make a bedroom for her? I should make a fancy one, she's very nice and deserved that. Except where would I put it? Hmm, there were lodging rooms off to the sides of the main entrance and more behind the mosaic in what was probably the priestly quarters, though there were some altars back here. Oh and the baths were back here too! Maybe she'd want a bath but also I wouldn't want to be a creep and watch her, btu I didn't know how to give her privacy when I could literally perceive everything within this place with even a moment of thinking about it! Aaaaa!

"Melithera?"

Right! Her and her room and I needed to imagine one up and see if I could make it just appear with my divine powers or whatever. Hmm, there was a big empty room thingy not to far away. Now it'd need a big bed and lots of cushions and a mirror and uh, a rug! A pretty rug, and maybe some fancy lights, and uhm… she wore a lot of blue so I'd make the drapery blue and so many pillows! You could never have too many soft and cuddly things in your bedroom. A dresser in case she needed to store her things and uhm, uh, I didn't have many things in my room at home, the walls were kind of naked, but maybe some pretty landscape pictures?

A finger poked me. "Melithera?"

Quickly I did my best to manifest it all and it took more effort than reshaping my body here but not even close to as hard as growing the tail on earth was. Just a noticeable use of my power but something I could probably do more before tuckering myself out.

Either way I turned to her and hopped up and down. "Done! I made you a bedroom! Its right over here." And I scampered excitedly off to see it with my eyes despite already seeing that it was very real.

The woman followed after, and caught up in time to see me dive into a pile of fluffy pillows and burrow into them. She broke out giggling as I wiggled into the pillow den. "You're cuteness knows no bounds."

"Yip!" I blushily yipped from within the pillows, peeking out at the middle aged woman giggling at the sight of the fanciest room I could think up.

Upon finishing her giggles she bowed and clasped her hands in prayer. "Thank you, Melithera for blessing me with this room."

The little jolt of thanks taking the edge off the effort I put into this room got me wiggling. Mostly because prayers felt a lot like praise, and I had a praise kink. That did bring up the question of did I need prayers? I could do stuff without them but apparently not everything. I'd always thought that the whole gods need prayer thing to be weird, cause like if you need folks praying to you to make you a deity then that kinda undermines your whole divineness, but clearly gods like worship considering the whole religion thing. I liked worship as like a kink thing and also it made me magically less exhausted from willing things into existence. So maybe it was like a mana regeneration boost, and I had a big pool of divinity and it got used up and then replenished but worshipers made it go faster… only it was really hard to do simple things on earth, but wasn't as existentially exhausting like creating a whole room of stuff from nothing.

While I pondered the mechanics of divinity, The woman who I just realized I'd never learned the name of walked off to get her things and returned making herself at home within the bedroom I lurked in. She sat down on the edge of the bed and bounced a little feeling the springiness. "Were you planning to sleep in here as well? Not that I'd mind."

My mind ran in like three different directions upon hearing that. First that uh I couldn't sleep in the same room as a woman, she might think I was creepy. Second, I was already literally asleep so I probably couldn't double sleep. Third, cuddling up in bed and being held by her sounded really nice though I could never ask her about that.

So I stood up bursting out of the pillow pile in the corner. "N-No! I uh I mean, wouldn't want to bother you and I'm not sure I can sleep anymore, and uh, I'll leave uhm do you want me to turn off the light?"

"I would not be bothered, you've already given me a room fit for a queen to sleep in, and it is more than big enough to share. That being said what do you mean you can't sleep anymore?"

"Well uh, I used to be able to sleep, and technically I'm asleep right now? I uh fell asleep a while ago…" Checking again on my earth body I was most definitely absolutely not awake and in no position to really change that. Also the woman was looking at me odd so I uh distraction! "What's your name?"

"Well oh slumbering goddess, my name is Zaria Whiteriver. I am humbled to make your acquaintance." Zaria gave a little bow, before falling back against the bed. "Gods this is so comfortable. Perhaps I should pray to you more often."

Blushing and wagging my tail I stammered and squeaked out something, buried my face in my hands, and vanished from the room. She'd been praying but the idea of having invest faith into me?! I-I couldn't be a real goddess, I was just some girl with magic powers. I was like, a sorcerer. Just a really powerful one that could exist without form(at least in this world) and will things into existence. That didn't make me deserving or capable of watching over followers. I couldn't even leave this temple!

"Good night, Melithera, my little goddess." Whispered the undressed scholar slipping under the covers. Her words more than enough to get me blushing as I turned out the light in the temple. The torch having burnt out.

And with that I now had uh sevenish hours before tomorrow… Also finals were next week?!