Alone in the Woods

Chapter 10 - Recovery

The coming days were a downward spiral. The experience with the monster was dragging me down. Unfortunately, I couldn't get back to my normal routine because my magic was acting up. With my magic acting up I couldn't help anyone in the forest, and had little to do. With all of my new time doing nothing I was left alone with my thoughts that drifted back to that horrible day.

Wolf mom grew increasingly worried about me, but I just couldn't talk to her about this. Her worry only made me feel worse. She started spending more time in the den watching after me instead of her normal activities. It made me feel guilty, she had taken me in and done so much for me, and here I was making her life more difficult.

I started trying to pretend I was better but She saw right through me. The only way I could get her to stop wasting her time watching me was by going out.

Before I knew it I ended up spending large parts of my days in isolation at the grove. At least there I could use magic. It helped me feel almost normal. Whatever normal had become.

Things didn't change until another rainy day occurred. I didn't stay in the den and left to head to the grove. I was soaked and shivering, which had become a thing. I guess my magic had been helping me deal with the elements.

I sat upon the meditation stone on a mossy cushion, feeling hollow. I was barely able to see in the rain. I felt cold. The elements had stung worse since my magic had faded.

What was different was that one of the trees greeted me. I had withdrawn and hadn't had much of any communication with plants as of late. I gave it a token greeting, though my feelings weren't in it.

'Wolf child, why have you grown so distant as of late?' It said with feelings of concern and inquiry.

'I'm losing my magic' I couldn't keep my feelings of fear and pain out of the message.

'What do you mean your magic?' It deliberately added no emotion, though it placed extra emphasis on the concept of possession.

Huh? 'Um the magic I use to heal everyone when not in the grove.' I sent the sensation of using the magic that was my own vs the magic pulled from the grove.

'You think that magic comes from you?'

'Does it not?'

My senses were pulled from my body into the tree. It forced me into sense sharing! I didn't even know that the magic trees could DO magic. It showed me myself, but from my earlier meditations. It wasn't visual but I could still see the scene in a sense.

I watched myself doing magic but I could see the magic around me. There oddly enough was no magic in me only around me, as I discovered that I could finger paint with growing moss.

It showed me myself from a day or two ago. I the difference was obvious, I had little connection to the magic.

It took me a moment but it dawned on me. The magic was never mine, it was nature's magic! I had shut myself off after the events of that day. In fact my magic ran out that day because I stopped asking and sharing and started taking it in desperation. I was not gentle.

I knew what I had to do even if I didn't know if I could do it. I had to open up to the forest again; to the trees, the animals, my friends, and especially my mom.

The tree withdrew my senses. I was alone. The only way that was going to change was if I started reaching out to others. I started with reconnecting with that tree. I thanked it for showing me what I couldn't see, and I asked if I could share its senses once more.

Next I connected with the shrub that had let me take its vine. It seemed thrilled to hear from me again. Like reconnecting with someone from high school.

I slowly opened myself up to the trees around me, before realizing wolf mom was probably worried sick for me. My stomach sank at the thought. I knew she had suffered from me closing myself off. I was scared to go back an open up to her.

I had to go home though, I couldn't stay out here all day and night. So I began making my way home, abet much more slowly than my usual pace. I took the time to slowly greet the many trees I had befriended.

I tried using a bit of magic, though not as strong as it once was it was there. The rest would come to me when I was ready for it.

Soaked from rain, I entered our den. "Mom I'm back."